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Just as I collect rants, I also collect quotes. Here are some of my favorites:

Only fools are quoted.

--Anonymous

Put no trust in cryptic comments.

--Unknown

I've found my niche. If you're wondering why I'm not there, there was this little hole in the bottom...

--John Croll

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

--Unknown

A witty saying proves nothing.

--Voltaire

The voters have spoken, the bastards...

--Unknown

Text processing has made it possible to right-justify any idea, even one which cannot be justified on any other grounds.

--J. Finnegan, USC.

"Hello," he lied.

--Don Carpenter, quoting a Hollywood agent

Real Time, adj.:
Here and now, as opposed to fake time, which only occurs there and then.

--Unknown

Wouldn't the sentence 'I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign' have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips?

--Unknown

Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.

--Dave Butler