net.legends FAQ
Noticeable Phenomena Of UseNet
Part 3/4
Archive-name: net-legends-faq/part3
Posting-Frequency: Every 73 days
Last-modified: 9/13/94
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Andrew Bulhak (Back off, man, I'm a kibologist):
One of the more distinguishable of the a.r.k supporting cast. Will
argue (usually on the right side) at length, especially against Mike
Dahmus (q.v.). Will mercilessly parodize the clueless, and does a
mean B1FF (q.v.)... Has canonical .sigs which show up
periodically. Conducted the vote to elect the new Kibo (q.v.) (don't
ask...), which Joel Furr (q.v.) ended up winning (this apparently
was bad for his usual good humor, though). [7/94: Joel has passed
the title on to one Daniel M Silevitch (dmsilev@athena.mit.edu), who
may or may not know what to do with it, but who asked "Why is Joel
calling me `James', anyway?...]" Slavers in fear at the thought of
new waves of net.newbies; may be justified in this. Is reportedly in
Kibo's killfile... Came in first in the recent (5/94) vote for most
evil net.personality, beating Kibo by 192 votes (and Argic by 227);
consensus seems to be that this is due to his vote-trolling
abilities rather than any residuum or effluent of pure unrelenting
evil. Posts as acb@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au (Andrew Bulhak).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Puma!:
Contrib. post:
# Those who used to frequent the rec.arts.anime group still remember
# the bizarreness that was
#
# PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!
# PUMA! Meddle-not-in-the-affairs-of-PUMAs-for PUMA!
# PUMA! you-are-crunchy-and-good-with-ketchup! PUMA!
# PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!PUMA!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Lewis Stiller ("Examine frames XXX through YYY of Aliens to see that..."):
Alien (the movie) aficionado who was known for idiosyncratic
cinematic analyses and obscure---some say idiotic---posts.
Crossposted to alt.religion.kibology and rec.arts.sf.movies,
semi-incessantly (he flooded a.r.k for about two weeks with Alien
posts and then dropped to `normal' (for a.r.k) posting frequency and
subjects - but often xposted to r.a.sf.m, causing some interesting
followup chains...). When posting on subjects other than Aliens,
was entertaining to read - sample quotations: "About an ai, an anoa,
and an eft?", "Pan-and-scan: what's the point?", "Higgledy-Piggledy
/ Kibo Ubiquitous, / Greps for his name in the / Happynet spool. //
Interdimensional / Cyberspace deity: / Didaktyliaios / Dada is
cool.". He has been Not Allowed (by Kibo) to post about laserdiscs
to a.r.k for a while until he fulfils some Kibo-imposed condition
which I (and he) disremember, possibly related to Terminator... and
has nearly ceased posting altogether, about the time the first
version of this FAQ came out... he says it's because he's too busy,
and has a thesis to feed. We'll miss him.
--
Entertaining and totally non-serious (come *on*... Argic self-aware?
it is to laugh!) quote: "Well, maybe Terminator 3: Usenet becomes
Skynet is a bit of a stretch, but Terminator 3: Internet becomes
Skynet could be a reasonable plot. And what with the rtm worm, the
increasing Net connectivity, the .mil sites...I can see it. Like,
what would happen if Serdar Argic became self-aware?" [tying
together the Imminent Death of UseNet perennial threads, which were
then focussing on Delphi, with then-current speculation on the plot
of T3...]
--
Contrib. post:
# As another nominee for the latter category, I offer for your
# consideration Lewis Stiller, ALIENS aficionado, [Lewis says the
# correct terminology is "ALIEN aficionado", please.] who
# singlehandedly triggered and sustained a flamewar which must have
# doubled the volume of rec.arts.sf.movies. Stiller tried to get an
# official net-vote to have ALIEN^3 removed from the list of Alien
# movies, and argued his points in all areas with a precision grasp of
# the Alien movies only possible to someone with an LD player and WAY
# too much time on his hands.
--
This post's a collector's item - Sea Wasp is not *factually*
incorrect that often... Lewis held an unofficial (official? on
Usenet? Hee hee) rec.art.sf.movies vote to determine whether Alien
fans consider Alien 3 canonical, i.e., part of the Alien/Aliens
series. After long, vociferous and acrimonious debate, from all
sides, a bare majority of those responding (24-22) voted that Alien
3 should not be considered part of the canon. Highlights of the
flamewar included detailed frame-by-frame analyses of key scenes in
Alien which Stiller used to support his position, and his fanatical
insistence that pan-and-scan VHS was an inappropriate way to watch
Alien because pan-and-scan destroys Scott's wide-screen compositions
and the rhythm of his editing. Hey, everybody's got to have a
hobby... A miniFAQ by Lewis, explaining the Correct Way To View A
Movie, is available. Posts as stiller@rhombus.cs.jhu.edu (Lewis
Stiller).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Valeri Fabrikant (the only net.loon who actually killed people):
Contrib. post:
# > I know this is in very bad taste, but what about that guy Fabrikant,
# > who ranted incessantly for two weeks about a conspiracy at his
# > university not to give him tenure (the newsgroup was sci.research;
# > the university was somewhere in canada; montreal?).
#
# (Someone finally got sick of it and said "Well, why don't you do
# something about it?".)
#
# > He then went and shot half-a-dozen staff members! He posted
# > something from jail later, I believe; or rather he wrote something
# > on a laptop and had it posted. I probably still have the collection
# > of posts.
# >
# >> His trial was very bizarre; he want through many lawyers and finally
# >> "defended" himself; the cornerpiece of his defence, I believe, was
# >> to call the judge a Muppet. Very sad, and very nasty.
#
# [Actually, he called the members of the court, Muppets, and the
# judge, King Muppet.]
#
# >Hey, if you really want loons, be serious!
#
# Eeeeuuuuwww. Tacky. No Fabrikant. Let's keep it light-hearted,
# ok?
#
# ---Bill "HELP!!! (sound made by man drowning in loons)" VanHorne
# P.S. I said earlier that cataloging every loon on Usenet would mean
# cataloging 76.3% of all posters. I now think the number is closer to
# 86.3%. And rising.
--
# > I beg to differ. Prof. Fabrikant, a Soviet emigre, really was being
# > screwed royally by the EE department at Concordia. He spent almost
# > 10 years there and did some outstanding research. Still, they
# > wouldn't grant him tenure and kept renewing his contract. He
# > claimed that his chairman and other professors in the position of
# > power blackmailed him into putting their names as co-authors of his
# > work. This sounds quite plausible, considering that the chairman
#
# It is standard practice in academia to put your chairman as
# co-author.
#
# > co-authored hundreds of papers in various fields with numerous
# > people in the department. Fabrikant sued everyone in sight and was
# > winning his case when, unfortunately, he snapped. He brought a
# > bagful of guns to the department and
#
# Snapped? He tried for nearly a year to get a gun permit, but nobody
# would sign the part where it says that the applicant is mentally
# stable. He even threatened the life of the department secretary to
# get her to sign. Obviously a very stable person.
#
# > killed 5 people (mostly graduate students, I think). It's a pity
# > the chairman wasn't in the office. That lazy bum... Also the judge
# > in the case was obviously an anti-Semite prejudiced against Soviet
# > emigres.
#
# Maybe he was just prejudiced against people who call him a muppet.
--
[also from Bill:]
# I have also been asked *not* to include L. Detweiler the
# PSEUDOSPOOFING ALERT guy, as a couple of people who know him think
# he's a Fabrikant in the making, and are worried about the safety of
# someone who Detweiler mentions in his posts and who lives near him
# in CO.
--
# [The jury is still out on Detweiler; despite two attempts (so far)
# to post to news.answers a version of the FAQ inveigled from the
# FAQmaker, which may or may not have been altered, I decided to leave
# him in ... for now...]
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Barbara Abernathy (I am an excellent example of why some people's
newsreaders should be limited to alt.flame):
Omnipresent on alt.flame; replies, quoting at great length, with
somewhat-varied insults. Not to everyone's taste. Caused an uproar
by posting an alt.flame-type message calling someone she was mad at
a child molestor to alt.sexual.abuse.recovery, and later took Serdar
Argic's side in a typical zumaBot-followup that somehow got
crossposted to alt.bigfoot *and* alt.tasteless... seemed to have no
clue as to who/what the Bot was. Consistently high in the #Posts
lists, except that she apparently lost her net.access for a while,
but is now back. Posts as baberna@{bcpl,awk,scheme}.cse.psu.edu
(Barbara Abernathy); also posted for a time from
tan.crayola.somethingorother, leading to the "__X__ Your machine has
a stupid name" entry on the Standard UseNet Bonehead Reply Form...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Willis Carto:
originator (?) of much of Dan Gannon's material; also inspired Boris
(you cannot buy ham in Toronto because the Jooooos have taken over)
Kuschel, along with the other alt.revisionism nuts, Joe Gaut (a
regular sparring partner of Ted Frank's, and a tireless proponent of
the proposition that everything printed in "The spotlight" is
gospel) and Lance Bledsoe (Audit The Fed! Audit the Fed! It is
evil!)
Contrib. post:
# Willis Carto is, as I remember, a founder, or, at least, a leading
# light, of the Liberty Lobby, who are publishers of the *Spotlight*
# and basically an anti-Semitic bunch. I think he antedates USENET
# (that bunch may date back to the '50's or so).
I think Bledsoe is just a John Bircher, although I may be confusing
him with *another* John Bircher in "alt.conspiracy".
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Joseph Dunphy:
Contrib. post:
# [Joseph Dunphy] of sci.research.careers and a few other places
# deserves honorable mention. i didn't discover sci.research.careers
# until the week after Fabrikant hit the news, so i can't tell you
# whether dunphy ever interacted with Fabrikant.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Rob Reinhardt (The UN is a conspiracy):
thinks the UN should be reorganized to make us better prepared for
when the aliens ask us to join the Federation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Claire Gilbert (my Florida eyes can see the smoke from the Kuwaiti
oil fires which is causing our weather to change -- really!):
Contrib. post:
# A PFH [poster from Hell?] on sci.<many> was so obnoxious her
# sysadmin had to be begged to cease and desist her. At the time I
# was using VNEWS which had no killfile capability. This PFH actually
# made me decide to learn Unix with the express purpose of getting a
# newsreader (trn) with kill capability.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Homer Wilson Smith (Certainty of existence implies certainty of
DESIRE and |certainty of LOSS, unbearable loss and pain):
from alt.clearing.technology and/or alt.religion.scientology. A
mini-FAQ is available for him. Posts as
CTM%CORNELLC.BITNET@vm.ucs.UAlberta.CA or homer@math.cornell.edu
(Homer Wilson Smith).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* ZiPpY:
Contrib. post:
# on the hashnet, who is guaranteed to jump into every thread, and
# claims to know everybody personally. Every time the conversation
# veers towards normality, he posts yet another song about
# sheep-fucking.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Jarmo:
# Famous in soc.culture.nordic, wages a constant battle against
# everybody else in the group, in his fight for the Finnish-speaking
# minority in Sweden. He has even posted to soc.culture.celtic asking
# the Welsh to help in his struggle. He got very little response.
# Either the Welsh people have no interest, or they have trouble
# understanding his posts, which are in a mixture of Swedish and
# Finnish. A bummer for the Welsh!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Dimitri Vulis:
Contrib. post:
# whose obnoxious, derivative and not-very-funny Soviet emigre jokes
# from Brighton Beach were a weekly feature about a year ago on
# rec.humor . He ignored completely any requests to stop. Eventually
# he started getting flamed in demotic Russian-quite fun for those of
# us who could read it.
# - Dan "And to think he felt it important enough to waste his two
# hours of daily connect time on it" Case
--
# so what _is_ the deal with vulis? is "russian emigre" a codeword
# for "jew", or for "russian emigre", or for something else? (if i
# recall correctly, minor and now somewhat reformed net.loon mikhail
# zeleny claimed rather convincingly that vulis's posts contained
# certain tell-tale phrases which are highly un-idiomatic in english
# ("dandruff-covered" was one of them, i think) which were dead
# giveaways of classic pathological russian anti-semitism.) so is
# vulis russian? an emigre? a jew in some sense? self-hating?
# maybe a self-hating russian jewish emigre who hates only the jewish
# half of themself? or maybe they hate the russian half too? are
# they now or have they ever been, while residing in america, on the
# payroll of any branch of any soviet or russian government? did they
# stop posting russian emigre jokes when the paychecks stopped coming?
# are they a zhirinovsky supporter now? the most recent messages
# posted by vulis that i have seen seem designed mainly to convince
# people that both zhirinovsky and valery fabrikant are (russian?)
# jews. (it's very likely true in fabrikant's case, at least.) maybe
# vulis is a self-hating supporter of zhirinovsky and fabrikant?
--
Posts on soc.culture.soviet, and is apparently something of an
institution there; likes to stir things up, and to flame and/or
troll people. I'm not up on which sides are good and/or bad on
s.c.s, which among other things seems to have been ravaged by Serdar
Argic for a long time as well, driving away many of the gentler
posters. Is currently engaged in flamewar with Peter V. Vorobieff
there. Posts from dlv@CUNYVMS1.GC.CUNY.EDU (Dimitri Vulis, CUNY GC
Math).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Roy Radow:
Passionate defender of NAMBLA on several of the gay-oriented
newsgroups. Not really loon material (depending on your take on the
subject, of course) - just believes there should be no (or at least
a lower than currently available) minimum age of consent for sexual
relations, and has NAMBLA in his .sig. May kiboze for NAMBLA.
Unfortunately for his cause, people tend to groan out loud when the
Dread Word is mentioned, more because it's a Thread That Will Not
Die/Permanent Floating Flamewar than anything else, and that's in
fact the main reason I'm including him [because he's notable for,
just by posting, without even mentioning it in the post, touching
off ThreadsTWND]... Posts as roy@panix.com (Roy Radow).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* STella (bisexual leatherbyke pagan):
alt.sex.* denizen. Mistress of the sarcastic flame. Helped found
alt.sex.bondage; hangs out there. A mini-FAQ is available (for the
non-maturity-challenged only). Not a loon - just has a
distinctively.. ah.. unrestrained posting style. Has been
referenced (along with Kibo) in at least one guide to the Internet.
Posts as STella@thelema.queernet.org and stella@netcom.com (STella).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Elf! Sternberg:
Seemingly omnipresent in any group having anything remotely to do
with sex or sexual orientation (recently sighted on rec.pets.herp,
even). Try alt.sex.wizards, alt.sex, or alt.sex.motss; Generally
gives very good advice. Posts the "Journal Entry" series of sex
stories on alt.sex.stories/ alt.sex.motss/alt.sex. Quoted
(sometimes extensively) in the alt.sex.* FAQs. Cordially despised
on soc.motss - but then nearly everyone on soc.motss is cordially
despised by someone else there... Posts from elf@halcyon.com (Elf
Sternberg).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Gharlane of Eddore:
Semi-master flamer. Notable chiefly for his nearly unbreakable
habit of setting followups to alt.dev.null, apparently in the belief
that noone else's words deserve to follow his. Can be seen on
rec.arts.sf.written and alt.flame, as well as alt.fan.mike-jittlov.
Posts as gharlane@nextnet.csus.edu (Gharlane of Eddore).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Ted Altar:
From rec.food.veg. Was semi-single-handedly responsible for
prolonging the discussion on whether or not to split r.f.v, and if
so how, in news.groups, past all humanly bearable length. The
ultimate upshot of this was the creation of rec.food.veg.cooking
(moderated)... Contrib. post:
He did manage to kill one [proposal] when catsclaw was suggested as
moderator by using ad hominem attacks, but he couldn't stop the next
proposal, back[ed] by Stephanie da Silva (q.v.), featuring group
moderation.
--
Posts as taltar@beaufort.sfu.ca (Ted Altar).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* John Stanley:
Was waging single-handed a flamewar in news.groups (12/93) on what
the meaning, if any, of ABSTAIN in a UseNet vote is/should be/must
be. Notable in this only because he was apparently alone on his
side. On the other hand, was also conducting a well-done offense
against Dick Depew (q.v.), pointing out repeatedly that his (Dick's)
ARMM proposals are nothing more nor less than censorship. He has
ended up in Dick's killfile, along with Joel Furr (q.v.), because of
this. Will argue for food, or apparently for free, if he thinks
he's correct; usually has good points to make (although tends to be
scornful about it), and can find holes in opponents' logic quicker
than you can say DI$$EMINATION... Can be seen in news.groups or
news.admin.*; I cannot say at this point exactly what he'll be
arguing *about*, but it's a fairly good bet he'll be arguing about
*something*. Posts as stanley@skyking.oce.orst.edu (John Stanley).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Tim Pierce ("No.") and Joel Furr ("Will create newsgroups for food"):
Not loons, exactly - Tim was a sysadmin at Amherst and moderates
rec.arts.erotica; just very very cynical (Tim) and very very
optimistic (Joel). Found on alt.config (Tim ambushing alt.*-group
proposers and Joel proposing new alt.* groups at a great rate [and
newgrouping them almost as fast {in recognition of which many admins
refuse to create *any* group newgrouped by Joel]) and soc.motss,
rec.arts.erotica (Tim), and alt.folklore.(sub)urban, alt.fan.lemurs,
comp.society.folklore, and the hijinx mailing list (Joel). A miniFAQ
on Tim, by Joel, is available. More fun to watch than Abbott and
Costello.
Joel "flamed a proposed rmgrouping of alt.folklore.computers to
ashes in late 1992", and has his own alt.fan group, created by
Serdar Argic in retaliation for Joel's newgrouping of
alt.fan.serdar-argic; he furiously opposed the RFD on
soc.sexuality.zoophilia for unstated reasons (possibly having to do
with his long-running war against alt.fan.furry or animal characters
in MUDs). Seems to have been affected rather for the worse by
winning the election for Kibo some time back (you know what they say
about absolute power...); the hijinx mailing list, for "getting out
the vote" on one side or another of controversial Big 7 proposals,
came into existence shortly after that, with him a major impetus.
Recently created alt.folklore.suburban (moderated) and took over the
moderation of comp.society.folklore, in reaction to the amount of
"noise" on a.f.u and a.f.computers. Is putting out the Serdar Argic
Howling Through The Wires T-shirt (deadline June 7th 1994, sorry),
as well as the Joel Furr "WILL CREATE NEWSGROUPS FOR FOOD" mousepad
and possibly the C&S Green Cards And Spam T-shirt. Is a major
force behind alt.fan.lemurs, and apparently has a pet lemur Nigel
and does good works for a Primate Research Center near him.
Tim, on the other hand, has a style that grows on one, and has
basically simply said each objection to new alt-group proposals so
*many* times (because there's so *many* people that drop in saying,
for example, "I want alt.fan.shostakovich!!") that many of them have
been worn down to a simple "No.". Tim *will* rmgroup your alt-group
newgroup if it's not been mentioned on alt.config; that's his right,
as it is anyone's, and it does help to keep alt somewhat
non-totally-exponentially-growing...
Proposed as the counterbalances on the us.* hierarchy's Cabal, along
with tale (q.v.) and four other less-extremely-namespace-opinionated
people. Only time would tell if this would keep them completely
away from alt.config... however, since the us.* proposal was shot
down in flames, and discussion was moved to us.config, a new us.*
hierarchy (and their involvement in it) may or may not ever actually
emerge...
Post as twpierce@quads.uchicago.edu (Tim Pierce) and
jfurr@acpub.duke.edu, jfurr@char.vnet.net,
jkfurr@[snarf,*ip].eecs.umich.edu (Joel Furr). There is no truth to
the rumor that "Furrfu!" refers to Joel.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Uncle Fester (Kiss Me - I'm An ASSHOLE!):
Father-figure to alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.d. Helps rein in the
flames on occasion; former poster of the Official Assholes of
a.b.p.e List (simply a periodic listing of those who have posted
non-binary stuff to the binary group in the last period of time in a
format designed to get their attention - he's first on every list,
of course, because the List has to go on a.b.p.e to be effective).
Was famous for his posting prolificacy when he first showed up on
a.b.p.e; real name: Tim Hester. Has been lying low lately, but can
be seen on talk.bizarre. May be reinstating the List soon... but
maybe not from nyx, as his crusade against alt.sex.intergen (he
believes a group for discussing, among other things, pedophilia,
deserves only post-bombing) seemed to have temporarily shut nyx
down... (they *said* it was for "a planned University wide network
outage (for maintenance)", which shows the importance of timing...).
Sadly, the Uncle Fester persona has been retired lately, with Tim
now posting under his real name... Posts as thester@nyx.cs.du.edu
(Tim Hester).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Brad Templeton (Is that a ... Dave *Barry* post I see?):
ClariNet founder and owner. Creator and former moderator, for
years, of rec.humor.funny, back when it *was*. Some time back was
engaged in per^H^Hrosecution via news.admin.* of the binary erotica
groups for massive copyright violations; thinks it's every
UseNetizen's duty to a) admonish the poster of each and every
copyright-violating post and b) notify the magazine it's taken
from... may have been exposed to Clarinet's policy meetings for a
bit too long, but this attitude is quite understandable, given that
it's the source of his income, and that nothing less than vigorous
enforcement of ClariNet's non-re-feeding/non-re-posting policies
will even slow down the flood of people wanting to re-broadcast
syndicated news items and Dave Barry columns on UseNet [Note: Dave
Barry's column finally became a casualty at Clarinet due to exactly
this problem - the people that Brad buys it from got one too many
complaints about the rebroadcastings, even with all Brad's work
hunting them down, and cut off Brad's supply lines...]. Is *also* a
fervent supporter of free speech on UseNet (along with several
others such as Karl Denninger, each in their own separate way). Has
been UseNetting since 1981... has played "devil's advocate" on
news.admin.* against the large group of people wanting to toss
advertising entirely off of UseNet in the wake of the Canter &
Siegel spam. Tends to take Karl Denninger's side whenever the
latter starts up his "the a.b.p.e.* groups are full of copyright
violations and anyone who takes them is violating the laaaaaaw!"
crusade, seen intermittently on news.admin.misc and a.b.p.e.d ...
Contrib. post (actually, a .sig):
# Reposting a ClariNet article to any Usenet newsgroup is a violation
# of copyright. However, making fun of Brad Templeton is perfectly
# legal.
--
Posts as brad@clarinet.com (Brad Templeton).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Don Black:
Contrib. posts:
# Someone nobody's mentioned is Don Black, who believed that Jews are
# literally descended from the Serpent in the Garden of Eden.
--
# He was living in Alabama in the mid to late 80's. My girlfriend did
# a telephone interview with him for a social studies project.
--
# He used to be on Prodigy, too. I think he was big in the Louisiana
# KKK.
#
# Daniel "And he worked in the David Duke campaign" Case
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Rikiya Asano ("You so funny"):
Contrib. posts:
# I'd like to nominate Rikiya Asano, who posts on talk.politics.guns,
# soc.culture.japan, et al: "All Americans are violent racists!"
# There is much speculation that R.A. is a phony, i.e., not Japanese
# but just pretending to be by using broken English, references to
# 'Nippon', etc., but the jury is still out. Talk.politics.guns
# attracts a lot of live wires, especially those who believe that
# Clinton is a [leftist, socialist, Marxist, Communist, Nazi, traitor]
# and is itching to turn the U.S. into a Marxist state. Anyone
# playing "Spot the Net.Loony" should check it out, but be aware that
# a little t.p.g. goes a long way.
--
# Also posts to soc.culture.asian.american too, about how he's such
# catnip to the ladies. This came in especially useful during the
# flame war on alt.config about alt.sex.fetish.oriental and its
# proposed successor, alt.appreciation.asian. Rikiya there went into
# great detail about his own sex life and masturbatory habits-I was
# quite surprised. Many people think he's a poseur, though. But do
# these people post to other newsgroups, too? It hardly surprises
# anyone that talk.politics.guns attracts a high degree of loons.
--
# I used to wish Rikiya Asano was [an AI program], but unfortunately
# he has turned out to be a real civil engineering master's student at
# CMU. I've come across him twice.
--
# [Note that *many* of the talk.politics.* groups are hotbeds of
# flaming and odd behavior; thus this isn't really grounds for FAQ
# inclusion unless the behavior gets spread to other, ususally-quieter
# groups...]
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Andrew Wiles (My proof is unfortunately far too large for this newsgroup):
Contrib. post:
# I would like to nominate as a quintessential non-net non-loon:
# Andrew Wiles. (Marilyn [vos Savant], if you're out there, shaddup.)
# Over in sci.math, one of Wiles's graduate students has had his email
# response to a fan, answering some of the fan's questions, posted by
# the fan. Here are three relevant extracts:
#
# > First of all, I should let you know that he almost never reads his
# > email, and does not read newsgroups at all. The only reason he
# > posted to sci.math was because he felt he had to make some sort of
# > announcement in light of all the recent rumors, and someone on the
# > faculty helped to show him how to post to a newsgroup. ... Since
# > Prof. Wiles has not even been keeping up with all the rumors
# > surrounding the status of his proof (when I asked him about a few of
# > them, he said that he had not heard of them at all!), instead
# > spending his time on the proof itself, I don't think he has paid
# > much attention to what Marilyn has to say. ... I suspect he
# > probably doesn't even know who Ludwig Plutonium is! :)
#
# I suspect he probably doesn't even know who I am, either, even
# though we were once co-guests-of-honor at a party a friend of mine
# threw....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* N.O. Monaghan:
# Contrib. post:
#
# Another one who occurred to me-N.O. Monaghan, seen in many of the
# same groups as Jack Schmidling was, and a great fan of Fascism, the
# medieval Catholic Church, and the British National Party.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* John De Armond (I cheer every time a pig is killed):
Contrib. post:
# In that vein, I think John "I cheer every time a pig is killed" De
# Armond would have to get some recognition, especially since he posts
# to alt.law.enforcement.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* AJ Teel (Sui Juris):
Contrib. posts:
# While we're at it: don't forget AJ Teel ("Sui Juris"), who is
# convinced (and wants to convince all of us -- over and over again)
# that the Uniform Commercial Code (section 1-207, to be precise) will
# get you out of ANY traffic ticket.
--
# Is that the same guy who also posts to alt.conspiracy and
# alt.activism about how a) you can avoid paying income tax by simply
# not sending in a return, and b) how juries have the power to simply
# refuse to convict the person despite overwhelming evidence of guilt
# as a form of civil disobedience? And other legal gimmicks-although
# I think he stopped with the jury nullification thing because he (or
# some respondent) crossposted to misc.legal and someone there dug up
# laws from several states that state law says that juries are
# *required* to convict guilty people?
--
# This needs commenting. It is true that juries have that power.
# There is no law that can force them to convict a person, if they
# don't wish to do so. As far as the state laws - there are certainly
# some that "appear" to require a jury to judge a person based only on
# the law. However, they do not prohibit a person from judging the
# law, and finding the person innocent because the jury feels the law
# does not apply in that particular case.
--
[and so on, and so on; there is intense debate on a sporadic basis
over this in misc.legal; the FAQ author is neither a lawyer nor
willing to play one on the net.]
Other contrib. post:
# > Also, a hundred years ago people simply didn't trust paper money.
#
# Oh, go on, it can't have been *that* long since A.J. Teel left the
# net.
# ObUL: Geo. Washington trusted silver as far as he could throw it.
# Lee "faith, hope, and cherry tree" Rudolph
--
Can be found in (among other places) alt.conspiracy and
alt.activism; has a .sig about fifteen lines long that must be seen
to be believed. Posts as ajteel@andronix.org (A. J. Teel, Sui
Juris).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* BJGW:
Contrib. post:
# Oh, my - how could I forget AFU's own personal contribution to the
# Loon list - BGJW, the quintessential McGill poster, who nevertheless
# managed to turn AFU into a BOT-war ravaged, large-killfile,
# bandwidth-wasting newscape for several weeks. I don't think any
# loon has achieved more indirect success and made so many people act
# so ridiculously than he has - not even Serdar and Robert McE.
#
# Dan "and all because of a simple, stupid little programming error -
# but that's a long story" Case
--
# But like Phil said about B1FF, BGJW is most likely a troller.
# You're right about the end results, however. Here's a note I got
# from 'BGJW' himself:
#
# Date: Mon, 27 Sep 93 17:14:54 EDT
# From: "E. K. Yersh" <BGJW@musicb.mcgill.ca>
# Subject: RE: Re: Hi Everybody!
#
# In article <27tsk6$4e8@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> catstyle@gofish.aiss.uiuc.edu
# > In article <CDtxtv.Jno@acsu.buffalo.edu> v140pxgt@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu
# >> In article <23SEP93.19288004.0136@VM1.MCGILL.CA>,
# >>
# >>> Hi Everybody!
# >>
# >> Or do I have to throw it out because it's from McGill?
# >
# > I'm almost 100% convinced that McGill is the creation of a really
# > old hat, there's no other way to get this consistent throughput of
# > stupidity from one site for so long...
# > ObULSpreaderoftheDay: Lewis Grizzard. He may be funny as hell some
# > of the time, but he tells many. many ULs as true stories.
# >
# > --
# > Jason R. Heimbaugh (CatStyle) jrh@uiuc.edu
# > Two (unnamed) people on campus debugging telnetd code:
# > "Oh, I'm missing a colon."
# > "So is my aunt."
#
# Jason, listen up. I'll let you in on a theory of mine.
#
# My theory is that all these clueless messages are written by the
# same guy. I think that there's really only one guy at McGill who
# posts on AFU. What I think he does is that when he discovers
# terminals which students have used but not logged off from he posts
# a message from their account and purposely makes the content idiotic
# thereby feeding the impression that McGill is an institution for
# boneheads. He likely gets a kick from the reactions to the messages
# and from knowing that he's been able to decieve even that higher
# strain of humanity that is active on AFU.
#
# Your Pal: BGJW
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* stx1606 (Come on, I can't HEEEEEEAR you!):
# Of alt.sex.bondage, talk.religion.misc, and
# alt.binaries.pictures.erotica; went from group to group trying to
# fan flames. Asked for non-consentual rape stories on
# alt.sex.bondage and then started to use the rape stories as proof
# that ASBer were not tough on Rape. He tried to get
# talk.religion.misc people involved in the fight. No one took the
# bait... He then proceeded to revive the "let's get the queer
# pictures off a.b.p.e by splitting it" flamewar for about two weeks.
# Quote: "I have been washed in the blood of the lamb and that stain
# will never come off!" Unable to recognize satire at .23 milimeters.
# Unable to buy a clue, unwilling to rent to own. Seems to have
# decomposed. The alt.syntax.tactical crowd (not based in a
# newsgroup, but who go from newsgroup to newsgroup trying to touch
# off massive flamewars) seems to be stx1606's spiritual heirs...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* hshen; hollystone s. (An artificial (dis)intelligence project):
Contrib. post:
# One more is a person who posts vindictive and semi-coherent articles
# in some sci.* groups -- I've seen him/her most often in sci.math.
# The name field has been "S. Hollywood", "S. H.", and "S."; the
# username has at times been "hshen", I think. I can't remember the
# sitename -- some uni- versity in the western US, I think. This
# person was active within the past couple of months, but I haven't
# seen anything from him/her just lately -- maybe I'm not reading the
# "right" groups.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Charles Packer:
Contrib. post:
# A person who comes across to me as a borderline crank is Charles
# Packer, who posts occasionally in various groups where current
# events are being discussed. His bugbear is errors, or things that he
# thinks are errors, in newspaper articles or photo-captions. He is
# entirely coherent and sometimes the things he thinks must be errors
# really are, so maybe he's just researching a book or something
# rather than being a crank; but it looks to me as if his skepticism
# level is set a good deal too high. Again, I can't remember his
# posting site -- probably somewhere in the New York area, since the
# newspaper he most often cites is -- see below.
#
# MARTIANS BUILD TWO IMMENSE CANALS IN TWO YEARS.
# Vast Engineering Works Accomplished in an Incredibly Short Time by Our
# Planetary Neighbors. -- N.Y.Times headline, August 27, 1911
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Ralph Taite (Walphie):
Contrib. post:
# What about Ralph(Walph/Waphie) Taite as a possible net.legend/loon??
# He has completely taken over the likes of alt.feminism,soc.men,
# soc.women and god knows what other groups.. Ah the hum of ^Walph is
# a Nazi^ , ^Walph rapes^ and similar subject lines.. :)
--
# > Is he the one (I think he was-he's a Texan) who believes women who
# > have abortions should be drawn and quartered so they can understand
# > how the fetus feels? No, wait-he believes that only women who have
# > had more than one abortion should have that done (The rest should be
# > executed normally).
#
# In both cases, you're thinking of Ralph Taite at UT Austin, who was
# offering firearms training for those who wanted to attack clinics,
# and who also made an honorable run at net.loon status by urging
# people to write my admins and demand that I be fired because I was
# using drugs (all this, of course, based on some conveniently timed
# anonymous e-mail which has since conveniently been forgotten by
# Ralph), but for some reason he never actually did so himself.
--
[Note that many people/loons crosspost incessantly between soc.men,
soc.women, and alt.feminism; beware crossposting to these groups, as
it can (but not necessarily will) touch off everlasting threads in
your group fueled by cross-posters from these groups...]
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Richard Schennberg:
Contrib. post:
# Pesters the alt.magic, alt.pagan, and talk.religion.christian groups
# (among others) with his stories of satanic infiltration into the
# church. He is convinced that a secret cabal of Mormon Freemasons (!)
# ruined his military career and destroyed his marriage. He's been
# laughed off alt.magick and alt.pagan, but is still infesting
# src. Posts as <schennbe@ms.uky.edu>.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Joe Buehler:
Contrib. post:
# Don't see him much lately. <enter paraphrase mode>
#
# * The Catholic church was OK up until Vatican 2: the changes since
# then were heretical. Clearly, Mass in anything but Latin is a not
# good with God. If the Pope says it, it must be true...
#
# * The Spanish Inquisition was a Good Idea, since there were real
# heretics out there...
#
# * Masons steal Holy Water and Consecrated Wafers from Catholic
# churches (I haven't the foggiest idea what we're supposed to do
# with them).
#
# <exit paraphrase mode>
--
It would probably be inaccurate to have him say 'anything the Pope
says is true'. Actually, in his view a number of recent papal
statements have been dangerously liberal. I haven't seen him about
lately, though.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
drieux (drieux, just drieux):
recently sighted xposted to a.r.k and alt.usenet.kooks...
Contrib. post:
# He was sort of like McElwaine, only he parodied himself; he posted
# wacked-out conspiracy rants accusing people of being part of the
# GreatEvilSatanicOxygenCartelConspiracy or something to that effect.
# Is he still existent?
--
# As a sometime correspondent of "drieux just drieux", I'd like to
# think he was not a parody (much less an ex-parody). A luminous and
# eccentric writer, yes. But I'd rather have him on my team than
# most.
--
# ummm... are you trying to imply that the
# GreatSeXularHumanistHeteroSexualPlot&GeneralIkkyPooperness is
# not real? Next you'll be tryuing to tell me that KableTV is not a
# conspiracy! (I'm only paranoid because I know too much)
# ...
# Castle Wetware's resident Philosopher and Sniper is still 'out
# there' in all senses of the word. just don't get into dueling
# references with him. He'll push your buttons just to watch you
# jump. ps - it rhymes with true.
--
# drieux is a real person and he's easily reached--I just called the
# NASA Ames operator and she put me through to his office. He wasn't
# there, though, because he works second shift. Of course, this only
# works if you know his real name.
--
# Drieux is still around. He used to do incredibly horrible things
# for the CIA, and Curtis Yarvin (as in the day) claims to have met
# him.
--
Haunts talk.bizarre ... Posts from drieux@{vladimir.}wetware.com
(drieux, just drieux).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Bob Webber:
At one time, Bob Webber claimed to read (regularly) every
news-article in existence. Quite probably he no longer does this
(simply because it's not humanly possible and hasn't been for Some
Time), but this does qualify him for inclusion as a genuine
net.legend... Has said that even up to just before the Great
Renaming he was still reading almost every newsgroup, though no
longer every article. Posted from (probably) @porthos.rutgers.edu .
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* John Covici:
reposts Lyndon LaRouche stuff, coordinates the Larouche mailing
list.
Contrib. post:
# Lyndon Larouche's mouthpiece on the net. Hard to tell what *he*
# thinks (and I'm not sure I want to know), but keeps alt.activism up
# on the latest ramblings of his mentor. These include (I'm not
# making this up) a Zionist-KKK-Nazi-British-Mason-Apollonian
# conspiracy against Western Civilization.
--
# He used to post LaRouchite propaganda from a site named covici.com
# to some of the soc.culture groups. He seemed to go off the air
# about a year or so ago. When alt.desert-storm was a going concern,
# he was a frequent poster. I, for one, do _not_ miss his rambling
# multi-hundred line diatribes ...
--
# John is still active on alt.activism (that bastion of rationality)
# where he mostly posts Lyndon LaRouche's daily messages on an
# irregular basis. He is also running a LaRouche mailing list, so
# that may be what is taking up his time.
--
# Last time I checked he was also quite prominent on talk.politics.soviet.
--
Posts as covici@ccs.covici.com (John Covici).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Carasso (I'M NUMBER 2!):
Roger David Carasso; reputedly the major popular artist of "xposted
to *.test". Claims to be "FOUNDER OF THE INTERNET"; alt.sex.carasso
and alt.sex.carasso.snuggles apparently existed at one time...
Lives in L.A., reputedly married to BONNIE; GIFs are apparently
available - ask him...
Contrib. post:
# Very amusing on the net, dull as dust in real life.
--
# REGARDING MYSELF, ROGER DAVID CARASSO, NET.GOD --
# OTHER FACTS OF INTEREST:
# - I've had 4 accounts at Berkeley disabled and closed. 3 account, 2
# times.
# - I've had 1 account at gypsy's friend's site closed.
# - I've had 2 accounts at USC disabled and closed. 1 three times.
# - I then cracked 50 accounts at USC, where all business majors in
# summer school are given the password "summer" and 80& don't
# bother to change it.
# - I've had 2 accounts at Netcom disabled and closed. One twice.
# - I've had 1 the turing.org site taken down because the sysadmin
# liked me and refused to close my account.
# - I've had my best friend lose his account at UCLA because of my
# posts from there.
# - I've made it so MIT doesn't allow anonymous logins anymore, after
# a rash of my posts.
# - I got a new account yesterday, and within 10 minutes root was
# taking to me asking if I was "*the* roger david carasso", and
# disabled my account.
# - There are several others, but I can't remember.
--
# CARASSO: Probable record-holder for most accounts suspended on
# Usenet. Had student account at USC suspended three times for "abuse
# of Usenet". Netcom suspended his account once, reenabled it, then
# axed it. Got a new Netcom account in name of then-girlfriend (now
# wife) Bonnie Houck (who is believed by some to be fictitious), which
# also got suspended. When at rdc@netcom.com, trolled bait on various
# groups under various aliases (most notably Rachel Dafni Christy
# ["Wherever you go, there you are, so PARTY!"], Bob D. Crane, and
# Rajagopalan Dsomething-or Cother ["Be one with the Bhagavan" or
# something like that]). Rabid anti-Arab/Muslim, creator of
# alt.wanted.muslim.gay (among others). Now posting from
# inference.com, his actual workplace; since he has to tone down or
# face the wrath of his boss (who is monitoring him), his posts are
# now somewhat tepid and bland. May have been coiner of catchphrase
# "I SEE A GREAT NEED". Still posts to talk.bizarre, where he is
# either loathed or reluctantly admired.
--
# Brief disclaimer: I *was* monitoring Roger, but it ended up costing
# us too much in snapped-off electrodes and chewed-through leather
# restraints.
--
# I, ROGER DAVID CARASSO, AM THE CREATOR OF THE FOLLOWING NEWSGROUPS.
# PRAISE ME.
#
# alt.newbie
# alt.newbies
# alt.best.of.internet
# alt.herve.villechaize.dead.dead.dead
# alt.fan.roger.david.carasso
# alt.politics.bush
# alt.politics.clinton
# alt.politics.perot
# alt.politics.gooley
# alt.fan.gooley
# alt.job.gooley
# alt.gobment.lones
# alt.wanted.moslem.men
# alt.wanted.moslem.women
# alt.wanted.moslem.gay
# alt.imploding.kibo
# alt.aldus.freehand
# alt.fractal-design.painter
# alt.pixar.typestry
# alt.fan.howard-sterm.fartman
# alt.flame.marshal.perlman.weenie
# alt.flame.hairy-douchebag.merrideth-tanner
# There are others, but I can't remember them!
--
dfqfrby@shoes.BELL-ATL.COM, jecoleb@eos.ncsu.edu &
millerje@CS.ColoState.EDU all have personal archives of some of the
best of carasso, and probably the man himself does too
--
Posts as carasso@Inference.COM (d.r. carasso); this may change
rapidly...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Max Borisoff, Larry Pearson, and alt.christnet (Christnet is *copyright*!):
Well. Where to begin? Two weeks of slowly-becoming-less-clueless
attempts to create the alt.christnet hierarchy, first by Max, and
then by Larry (apparently Max's sysadmin, and equally clueless to
start with); several posts to alt.config (while ignoring email); a
sudden insight, followed by *twelve* a.c.* newgroups; dawning
realization that people from Outside Christnet.Org (located,
apparently, in L.A.) were Posting In The Christnet.Org Newsgroups;
attempts to make the groups moderated; vague legal threats; flame
and counterflame (on alt.config *and* the alt.christnet.* groups,
which had been swooped upon with great glee by several people who
thunk: "Aha! A place to confront fundies!", Keith Cochran (q.v.)
amongst them; the sudden appearance of Hansel Lee, and his equally
quick disappearance when he a) made a threat while posting from his
military computer and b) forgot there might be superiors lurking on
alt.config; the final partial realization of the vastm^Hness that is
Usenet by Max; and the creation (still slightly cluelessly) of the
christnet.* hierarchy, and subsequent partially-successful
rmgrouping of the alt.christnet hierarchy. All in all, about a
month of More Fun Than Alt.Config Is Allowed To Be, and as good a
Bad Example of Unbridled Altgroup Creation as we're ever likely to
see... Post as Max.Borisoff@christnet.org and
Larry.Pearson@christnet.org.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Stephen Eisenberg:
Contrib. post:
# recently nominated as a net.idiot on can.general and known for his
# knee-jerk support of the Canadian government in the Teale/Homolka
# trial ban AND his tendency to hysterically flame anyone who says
# anything in the slightest bit negative about Canada or positive
# about the US (especially in comparison to Canada). AFUers may
# remember him for his "Photographer For Hire!" sig and the fact that
# he had absolutely no sense of humor during that whole debate on
# Canada's lower rate of firearm death vs. the US. And the fact that
# he's from McGill and definitely *not* under the control of BGJW.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Stephen Grossman (The Paranoid Randroid):
Has "recently" been haunting the usual alt. group suspects
(.activism, .conspiracy, etc.).
Contrib. post:
# I've never corresponded with Stephen Grossman, but I've been in the
# same room with him several times, and we worked on the same copy
# desk at different eras; he occasionally writes letters to the editor
# which are by no means identical to his net.postings -- if he makes
# it past the nomination process, I could forward "fair use"
# quotations from a few of those, maybe.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Scott Tai:
Contrib. post:
I have followed *way too many* of these net.loon postings, and I am
finding it difficult to believe that no one has nominated Scott Tai.
Mr. Tai posts regularly to rec.org.mensa and to a variety of sci.*
newsgroups, using various accounts (some real, some not) and names
(including his latest, Sister Amy Tai, Instructor, St. Ann's
Academy). The primary purpose of his posts seems to be to argue
with himself, although agreeing with himself comes in a close
second.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Michael Courtney:
Contrib. post:
# > Does anyone have any of his legendary bits of wierdness from
# > alt.atheism? His ramblings on The Queen of Heaven or even some of
# > his (gasp!) poetry would be amusing. Or even the posts wherein he
# > identified himself as God's Own Prophet(tm). I never bothered to
# > save any of them, alas...
#
# I forgot to save that stuff, but I can certainly testify to the
# existence of those posts. When he first did the poetry, I asked him
# in email why he was doing it, and his response was that he was
# attempting to "get through to the people on alt.atheism". His
# poetry was really poor though, I rarely see worse stuff on
# rec.arts.poems. You can get his masterpiece paper via anonymous
# ftp. I think it is on his site at MIT. :) A few people even read
# it and it makes many of his posts seem mild.
--
# As requested, here's a small sample of Michael Courtney's posts to
# alt.atheism. Unfortunately, I don't have any of his poetry, though
# perhaps someone else might.
#
# In fairness to Michael, he's definitely NOT a kook in the sense of a
# Ludwig Plutonium. I think everyone on a.a who remembers his first
# few posts would have to agree that he genuinely seemed reasonable.
# He was almost always pretty polite and cooperative, though he'd
# occasionally dodge really uncomfortable challenges to his
# fundamentalism. Understandable, I suppose, if you ignore that the
# forum was a.a. Regardless, I would have to say that Michael's
# credibility took a serious nosedive after this post:
#
# ----begin quoted text----
# >From michael@krypton.mit.edu Thu Jan 13 11:16:15 1994
# Date: 15 Oct 1993 19:50:08 GMT
# From: Michael Courtney <michael@krypton.mit.edu>
# Newsgroups: alt.atheism
# Subject: abortion and prophec
#
# yergeau@leland.Stanford.EDU (Dan Yergeau) writes:
# > michael@krypton.mit.edu (Michael Courtney) writes:
#
# [deletions]
#
# > Please quote the verse where God calls it murder. Your personal
# > relationship with God and your private revelations from God are not
# > admissible. Don't put words into your god's mouth. I don't think
# > he would appreciate it.
#
# I have God's permission to call abortion murder. I am a prophet
# sent by God to declare the destruction of the United States because
# of abortion.
#
# [more deletions; Michael provides some biblical basis for his
# anti-abortion stance.]
#
# If either God did not exist, or abortion was not murder, God would
# not be planning to bring the retribution on the United States that
# he is now planning. Let me be specific in this prophecy. This is
# what the Lord has said:
#
# Within 40 years the following things will happen:
#
# 1. The United States will cease to be governed as set forth in the
# Constitution. The United States will also cease to enjoy the
# freedom it declared for itself in the Declaration of
# Independence.
#
# 2. The blood of our young men will be poured out into th streets,
# for the Lord is a God of retribution. Millions of Americans will
# die on American soil in fulfillment of the Scriptures:
#
# If a man sheds blood, by man shall his blood be shed. and,
#
# Atonement cannot be made for land on which blood has been shed,
# except by the blood of the one who shed it.
#
# 3. A dragon will rip open the pregnant women of the United States.
#
# 4. This prophecy is unconditional. No repentance can stop it.
# Nothing can stop what God has decided to do.
#
# God is not mocked, we will reap what we have sown.
#
# That's all of the prophecy, but I will add that if you are still
# alive when it happens there is still forgiveness for your sins
# through Jesus Christ.
#
# --
# Michael Courtney |Reply by email if you really want an answer to a question
# michael@amo.mit.edu |about something in this post. I do consider flames,
# |mocking or obscenity to be indications that you are not
# |asking honest questions. P.S. I have the FAQ's.
# ----end quoted text----
#
# Understandably, many on a.a were a bit skeptical that the Christian
# God would intervene as described above.
--
Posts as michael@amo.mit.edu (Michael Courtney).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Captain Sarcastic (Oh how lovely):
Contrib. post:
# > From: kkoller@nyx10.cs.du.edu (Captain Sarcastic)
# >
# > No, I am most definately not joking. I plan on transcending Kibo in
# > net.awareness, and this is but the first step in my campaign.
#
# To do this, all he needs is a heart, a spleen, and a brain.. and a
# spelling-checker.
#
# >Power corrupts, but absolute power is kinda neat.
#
# "Captain Sarcastic" must be another of the net.AIs - what human
# being would be caught posting "Captain Sarcastic" crap? Mr. Ediger,
# please add "Captain Sarcastic" to the net.nuts list, with 'delusions
# of grandeur' as the diagnosis.
--
Update: he's now got 12 regular posters to alt.captain.sarcastic,
and is gaining fast on Kibo's 29,000 ... and is optimistic... He's
also claimed that the "$2 bill almost thought to be intrinsically
counterfeit at Taco Bell" story happened to him, on several
occasions.
Update update (7/94): up to 190 posts/month, beating out
fnet.general and alt.fan.enya ... Posts as kkoller@nyx10.cs.du.edu
(Captain Sarcastic).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Monica (Net.goddess):
Contrib. post:
# Maybe I'm late with this one, but how about Monica, the Korean girl
# who was on the net one year, created a big following, then went home
# to enter a nunnery, never to see the Internet again. Any data?
--
# Check out the FAQ in alt.religion.monica. Note that although Monica
# herself is treated as a saint by her following (she may well be),
# the group is almost entirely Korean. But, if we're going to worry
# about offending someone, we'd might as well not have the list at
# all, right?
--
A minifaq on Monica is available.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Anthony Lest & Nabeel A. Rana (Rana is Rana, and Lest is Lest,
and Lest is not Rana.):
Contrib. post:
# > Then there's Anthony Lest, who took a massively controversial vote
# > and yet never existed - "Rana is Rana, and Lest is Lest, and Lest is
# > not Rana." (which was apparently the
# > soc.religion(.islam).ahmadiyya(h) vote, which is due up again
# > anytime now)...
#
# Rana definitely deserves a mention. After massive flaming and vote
# fraud on "soc.religion.islam.ahmadiyya", he said a "friend" of his
# would take the vote. After the vote, people began complaining that
# their no votes weren't counted. Lest seemed to disappear, and
# turned out never to have existed! Even better, they found out that
# Lest always seemed to be logged in at the same time, and from the
# same machine, as Rana.
--
Rana is still around, and recently asked on alt.config about how to
send a newgroup message... posts from rana@rintintin.Colorado.EDU
(Nabeel A. Rana).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* IdEAL Order Psychic TV (clever satire):
A, um, piece of experimental satire by Jeff Harrington and Elsie
Russell. See the minifaq for extreme details...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* SN Mozumder (WHY ATHEISM SUPPORTS CHILD MOLESTING):
Contrib. post:
# But my real vote goes to Bobby Mozumder, one who was far more
# persistent than Michael Courtney (q.v.) on alt.atheism, and came up
# with a bunch of real gems. Many people even grabbed stuff of his
# for sig material.
--
# He is the author of the theory that no true follower (tm) of Islam
# can ever do any evil. He came up with the theory of temporary
# atheism to explain away problems presented. Famous for quoting
# entire articles to add a few lines (like another kook famous to
# alt.atheism, Bill Conner), he tends to flee for a few months only to
# come back and cause the traffic to double on the religious
# newsgroups he frequents. Also famous for the famous line that
# atheism causes child prostitution in Tibet, as well as the idea that
# all atheists are evil. bobbe@vice.???.edu? Got himself a second
# account when too many people learned how to put him in a kill file.
# Always uses S. N. Mozumder as the real name (as far as I've seen).
# Common nicknames include Blooby, B.M. Currently has left
# alt.atheism for (he claims) other religious newsgroups, but I have
# not seen any reports of him.
--
# Not quite. Booby is the _usual_ nickname for Mozumder, but I decided
# to come up with "Blobby" the first time I flamed him on a.a.
#
# I can understand the reference to the dreaded Bill Conner, but I
# didn't notice much of anything concerning the equally deserving
# Michael Coutney. Hmmm... Don't forget his infamous "Atheism is
# what I say it is and you're an evil atheist especially if you call
# me on it" rag.
--
# S.N. "Bobby" Mozumder, Islamic proselytizer to alt.atheism.
# Noteworthy for his complete inability to listen to what anybody
# said. Posted articles with titles like "WHY ATHEISM SUPPORTS CHILD
# MOLESTING". Typical quotes from my file:
# "Still, you have to be brainwashed by atheism to think you have morals."
# "It is purely a mental problem that can be corrected when Islam is applied."
--
Posted as snm6394@ultb.isc.rit.edu (Bobby Mozumder).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* The High:
Contrib. post:
# The High was three brothers who came on the net in October ['93] and
# started posting their bizarre conviction that Marvel and DC comics
# were to merge ("The papers are signed!") to alt.comics.superman,
# rec.arts.comics.misc and rec.arts.comics.xbooks. We're 95% certain
# that was bait, but... The High also get marks for forging return
# paths, flaming anyone who tried to suggest that a major
# reorganisation of the comics industry might *just* have been in the
# trade press, and for setting follow-ups to alt.desert.toppings,
# alt.fan.ketchup and other non-existent news groups. They signed all
# their messages "Love and oodles, The High." Towards the end of
# their career, they stated trying to clog up racm with one-line posts
# about Casper the Friendly Ghost.
#
# They were so hated by the rest of the newsgroup that they got kicked
# off the net within one month of getting on, after an avalanche of
# complaints went to their postmaster. For now, the High are dormant,
# but apparently they're getting their net access back in the spring
# [of '94].
#
# There was also a guy calling himself The High II who claimed kicking
# the High off was censorship, and started posting apparently serious
# messages in the High's style as a tribute, but he gave up after a
# couple of weeks when he realised nobody was flaming him.
#
# (BTW, the High is *not* the same person as racm regular Matthew
# High.) Just thought he might qualify, for one of the shortest and
# most incendiary net careers, if nothing else.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* "Mark Ethan Smith" (Don't call me "miss"):
Contrib. post: [edited for pronouns]
# Hung out (no pun intended) in soc.women back in 1987-88.
# Passionately believed that society was a man's world and that women
# were treated as hopeless inferiors. Responded to all male posters
# by feminizing their names in the hopes that they would feel the
# shame that the English language imposes on women by having
# gender-specific words. Was particularly fond of the word
# "diminutive." (All female-specific words were diminutives.) Changed
# his name, reported from Susan, to MES in hopes that men would see
# the typically-male name, assume that he was a man and therefore not
# patronize him as an inferior woman. Insisted upon using only men's
# restrooms. Seemed to have tremendous inferiority complex on account
# of being born female. May have been involved in the comp.women
# debate.
--
# I vaguely remember "Mr. Smith". He posted to soc.feminism/soc.women
# (possibly to some ancestor of these newsgroups as well). The story
# was that despite having two "X" chromosomes; he preferred to be
# called "mister" and in all other ways to be treated as a man. May
# have had his name legally changed to "Mark" (from whatever it was
# originally). He also claimed to have worked for one of the armed
# services(?) and had gotten them to legally treat him as a man rather
# then a woman. I haven't seen any postings from him in years, but
# then again I haven't regularly read any of the soc.* groups in years
# either. I don't think he is/was as 'unusual' as many more recent
# legends; but probably deserves a mention. Perhaps USENET was just a
# quieter place in those days...
--
# "Mark Smith" was an annoyance outside Usenet as well; "he" (as the
# individual insisted on being referred to) or "it" (as we liked to
# refer to the individual) was an unwelcome visitor to a public-access
# Unix system called M-Net, in Ann Arbor, during 1986 and 1987. Smith
# said all of the wonderful things other posters have mentioned, and
# used the loginid "reason" -- the same login "it" apparently used on
# the Well.
#
# I vaguely recall that Smith harassed one M-Net user by mail and,
# perhaps, voice phone to some extent.
--
# Other than this "quirk" of Mr. Smith's, I also remember him to have
# an itchy 'f'-finger as well as the requisite desire to post massive
# flames. Additionally, I have vague recollections of a) threatened
# lawsuits and b) accusations of conspiracy.
#
# In general, most of the colorful net.personalities of 1986-1988 no
# longer seem to be with us, or at least keep a much lower profile.
--
# Ah, Mark Ethan Smith! Now we're talking net.legend.
#
# Back in 1989 when alt.flame was newborn, and only had a fifth of the
# traffic it has now, a certain Mark Ethan Smith entered the scene,
# and flamed absolutely everyone. This spread to almost every
# newsgroup imaginable, and rumour has it that "Mark E Smith" had up
# to 50 flamewars going -at once. The poster turned out to be female,
# and her access was revoked because she was violating the fair use
# policy... Strangely, some months later "Mark Smith" resurfaced in
# alt.flame and talk.bizarre, and people feared for another round.
# Luckily, this was an altogether more pleasant Mark Smith, completely
# unrelated to the legendary spewer. This "new" Mark Smith wrote some
# very entertaining flames until mid 1992. But all this is legend,
# like Gene Spafford, Kent Paul Dolan, Patricia O Tuama (Trish) etc.
--
# > On the other hand, I guess I'm as glad as anyone that she's not a
# > regular. Does anyone know what became of her? (I ask, peeking
# > through my fingers in case it turns out I'd really rather not know).
#
# The last I heard, which had to have been at least a year ago and
# probably more like two, was that she was working in a copy shop in
# Berkeley and seemed to be very happy and competent. I retain a
# vague memory that she was managing the shop, but am not entirely
# sure that this is correct.
--
Posted as era1987@*.berkeley.edu (Mark Ethan Smith).
----------------------------------------------------------------------
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